As The Dust Settles

from the events of the past two weeks, I get a chance to sit, and catch my breath, and think (which can be dangerous - lol).

Nelson is at peace with his mom's passing. Through death, she's been able to give him something - a chance to heal. He'd been doing well with letting go of his burdens - namely the physical and mental scars of his relationship with her. Wanting to run from her because of her treatment, but wanting to cling to her because she was the only birth parent he had left. He had given a lot of his burdens up, but he was stuck on a few. Now, it makes no sense to continue to have ill feelings toward someone who is no longer here, and can no longer hurt him.

She's also made something else possible: a relationship with family members who were all estranged - namely his brother, and step-sisters. I love Jason to pieces - I always wanted a brother (or sister for that matter), but whenever conflict came up, Jason automatically sided with his mother - no matter what. This drove a wedge between the two of them, and she honestly did nothing to help matters. This was the first we'd seen him in a good number of years. I was expecting the same old, but we were pleasantly surprised. While he still has a lot of growing up to do (even at age 29), I think he realizes what is important. At the funeral, Nelson went up to Jason and put his arm around him. He said "We've gotta stick together. We're all we have left." And while he meant no disrespect to his step-father, I think Jason got the message, as he nodded, and put his arm around Nelson.

We were able to open up a dialogue with his two step-sisters as well, and they finally felt like they were able to clear the air, and a lot of misconceptions about past events, and see that they were really all in the same boat. The younger of his step-sisters, Toni, said it best when she said "Sometimes, it takes the kids to break the chain of violence". Truer words were never said.