Yikes! I've been away for a while!

I knew it had been a while, but not two months! I have many excuses - feel free to pick one:

In my defense, it has been a bit busy. We got a late surge at work for one department, and that kept me busy through early November, when it eased off.

We went to Virginia to visit a friend in early November. We had a good time. We got to see a mall with fantastic 80's architecture and design elements. We stopped at a fantastic candy store (I'm such a little kid in a place like that - plus, they had jumbo Gummi Coke Bottles!) run by an older gentleman who was super-friendly. We had dinner at Don Shula's to celebrate our 13th Anniversary, where I put down the most money I ever have on a meal (don't ask). Nelson finished the "Shula Cut", and he got his name on their website, on a plaque in the lobby, a real autographed picture of Don Shula, and a few weeks later, a letter from Dave Shula. Makes up for it a bit. The steak I had was the best steak I've ever eaten in my life. I also got to go to Tyson's 1, which made me very very happy.

We got the pendulum for the clock, and quickly found out that the clock did not work. We dropped it off with a repairman. It cost $135, but it's hanging on the wall, ticking away (and keeping me awake at night). Plus, the original pendulum turned up, which was a good thing.

With Hanukkah being early this year, our holiday sale kicked in gear earlier than usual this fall. We have had a good season, so far. With next year being an Olympic year, I have a feeling we'll be very busy next fall. We were the last Olympic year. Insanely busy. Nelson came in to help work, and we'd work until Midnight some nights. Exhausting, but it made for a nice paycheck.

Thanksgiving was nice. When we got out of the car at my Aunt's house, the girls were in the picture window, waving at us (they're so darn cute!). We had a nice dinner, and fun with the girls (who again got goodies from us). Then over the weekend, we had to send the laptop back (it died - which has contributed to my absence - I can't get motivated to work in the spare room anymore - I'm spoiled), and then we accompanied a friend on a double/blind date. It was a nephew of my mom's friend. They were convinced they'd get along famously. They were wrong. He was a nice guy, but the two couldn't have been farther apart in terms of interests. It's a shame, because he was smitten with her, but when there's no connection, there's not much point. Plus, then I feel bad because I nudged for this (I hadn't met the guy previously).

We've returned to church, which is a good thing. I missed going. It gives me the ability to try and let go of the junk that happens during the week. Pastor Jim is a fantastic speaker, and has a knack to reach you when you least expect it.

We had lunch with Grammy at the "facility" (they don't like the term "nursing home"). It was less than what we'd pay in a restaurant, the meal was good, and it made me happy to see that she gets fed well. She was good that day. She repeated herself a lot, but she was in good spirits.

I've been putting in 11 hour days most days recently, and half days on Saturday. Today was the lone exception, and I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I did absolutely nothing. In my "spare" time, we've been getting our Christmas shopping done. We're not doing much for Christmas this year. We've decided to pool our money and purchase an extended warranty for the Kia. I did my homework when we bought it, but I didn't realize how much electronic stuff was in there, which gets costly. It will extend my warranty until after my loan is paid, which is what I want.

I set foot in Grammy's house for what will most likely be the last time. It's been sold. They got a nice amount for it, and her care will be covered for a long time. It seemed so strange. The house was empty. The furniture all gone. The only thing left in the kitchen was the stove and the cabinets. I've never ever seen it empty. Nothing on the walls. The heat was off and it was cold. There were a few things left for a charity store to pick-up, and a box of things for my uncle that we'll have to store until he can return from Oklahoma to retrieve them. Yet Grammy thinks she'll still be going home soon. No, we're not going to tell her........

But the laptop is back now, and hopefully so will I.

"I Feel The Moments Hurry On.....

What was today has died away and now it is forever gone" - Early Morning Blues And Greens (The Monkees)

Birthdays don't usually depress me. Another year gone? Meh......

As I have done in the past (more so when I was younger), I shared my birthday with Grammy. Her birthday was on Monday. She was 87. My cousins were up with the two great-grand kids that live within a reasonable distance (Northern Virginia). Sadly, the others live in Oklahoma - all 9 of them (I think that was the last count - maybe 8). I don't get to see the girls as often as I'd like to (they are still little, and not to the point where they remember me when I see them), and I made sure they both got a nice goodie bag from us. Fun to spoil them, then send them home with mom and dad (insert evil smiley).

I wasn't thrilled about trying to spend the day at a local restaurant that is incredibly popular, but a tad overpriced and overrated in my book. However, Grammy loves to eat there, so it's the destination when we're taking her out. On the way up, I even told Nelson I wasn't sure that this was the best way to spend my birthday, in theory, but I was happy to see the girls, and I wasn't sure whether this would be the last birthday we had with Grammy. Nelson said he doubted it (Grammy is in great physical health - it's her mind that is going) but I corrected myself to say that it would likely be the last birthday we had that she would know a little what was going on. He agreed. She's just fading so fast that it's frightening.

When we got to the restaurant, my Aunt called me over, and told me that she found a ceramic canister that I gave Grammy for Christmas about 3 years ago. It still had the candy inside it. She just put it in the closet, and forgot about it. It made us realize that this went back longer and deeper than any of us even thought. Every weekend has been spent by members of my family up at her house, painting and making repairs, and cleaning/cataloging things. We've yet to find the pocket watch that Nelson gave Pappy for his 80th birthday. I don't want to ask Grammy - I doubt she'd even know, plus she thinks that she'll be going back to her house soon. We're not sue whether he might have been buried with it (Grammy handled all those arrangements). He so loved that watch. I gave everyone pictures of a watch that looked like it, and asked them to save it should they find it.

I picked up her washer, dryer, microwave, and refrigerator. I needed appliances, and my Uncle took $50 for all of it, which goes in Grammy's fund to pay for her assisted living. Most of them are almost new. Still, I felt guilty. The realtor said to take them - whoever buys the house will supply their own appliances. Last thing I did before leaving was remove the Cuckoo Clock I bought her and Pappy for their 50th anniversary, back in 1989. I bought it at Willy Neef's in Triburg, Germany and had it shipped back. Broke my heart to take it, but I didn't want anything to happen to it.

Of course, I get it home, hang it, and realize the pendulum is missing. It's not anywhere to be found, and I didn't check to see if it was even on there when we took it. It could have been missing already - I only checked for the pine cones. I ordered a replacement, and can't wait until I can fire it up -I hope it works.

Grammy didn't look real good today. She looked confused. Bit by bit, my mom and dad sneak things in to her apartment from her house. I don't know if that's doing it, or if the Alzheimer's is just progressing at a more rapid rate. I keep telling myself that she's better off where she is. After all, when I cleaned out her refrigerator (I tried to throw out as little as possible, and I kept the things that were still usable - she taught me well), I found 3 year old meat in her freezer. It's frightening to me that she might have tried to eat that. Did she do that and was that what made her sick that day that she fell and ended up in the hospital? The last day she would see her house, back in April? We'll never know. Where she is now, she's looked after, and she likes the people there, but she is waiting to go home. She's convinced that she hurt herself working (she even mentions the last job she had as being where she got hurt) and that she's waiting to be released to go back to work. It just kills me to hear her talk like that.

I whine about it. I say that it's just not fair. But I guess life isn't fair. I could stomach her passing by just going to sleep and not waking up. I hate myself for half wishing that Jesus would call her home to my Pappy and the still born son she had before she loses her mind completely. I'm selfish like that. I don't want to watch her deteriorate beyond recognition. That's more than I could handle. She deserves so much better than that. She tirelessly gave us all she had, and asked nothing in return. It just isn't right, and I struggle with my faith in that arena. I know that God wouldn't have her suffer needlessly, but I'm just not seeing his plan in all of this. I just see my Grammy fading away, and an empty shell taking her place.

I gave her gift to her. I bought her a wireless light switch. She can hook her lamp up to it, and take the switch to her bed, or anywhere in her apartment if she needs it. She just looked at the bag it was in, and didn't seem to know what to do with it. I could see her struggling, so I just said "You can open it later if you like". She said she'd do that, and then seemed ok. I didn't want to take her dignity by opening it for her. She apologized over and over for not having a card for me. I told her not to worry.

All in all, it was a good day. I got a great CD set. My cousins embarrassed me by having the restaurant bring me and Grammy each a small cake and singing. I just had a checkup, and I am in good health - better than I've been in years. My weight loss has started back up again. I just wish I had Grammy back. It's what I wished for when I blew out my candle, but I know it won't happen. I just figured it couldn't hurt.

"Are You Blogging?"

I heard this last night, as I was typing away, replying to a PM left by a friend at a message board.

"Huh?", I said.
Nelson says "I said, are you blogging?".
Me: "Nope. Just replying to a PM."
Him: "A what?"
Me: "A private message, left for me by (insert name here - someone he knows)"
Him: "Oh. I wasn't sure."
Me: "That's ok. I should put something up, but I don't know what. Since you brought it up, any suggestions? What did you think I was blogging about?"
Him: "I thought maybe you were blogging about football." (as the game chugs on in the background)
Me: "I appreciate the suggestion, however I don't have much to say about football - but thanks for trying."

I don't much care for football. This was made worse by my tenure in the band in middle school, high school, and college. As a sport, it doesn't hold my interest. I rate it higher than golf, tennis, basketball, and baseball on the interest-o-meter, but not by much. It does, however, rate much higher than NASCAR.

I just really am not much in to sports as a whole. I do enjoy Ice Hockey - it manages to hold my interest. I also enjoy figure skating. When I myself was skating, I was much more in to it, but I haven't been hardcore in to it in years. I just haven't found anyone I can really get behind in the last few years. When the next Brian Boitano comes along, maybe I'll change my mind. I adore the Olympics, but probably more for the ideals they stand for. When they're on, nothing else is at my house. I have a good functioning knowledge of amateur wrestling, but I need to know that for my job. As an aside, I have very minimal knowledge on certain cheerleading and gymnastics regs for the same reason.

For all intents and purposes, I am a football widow. There was a time when he only watched NFL. He used to tell me "Hey, be glad I'm not in to college football". That, however, was just a matter of time. I didn't think Sundays would be too bad when we first met, because we can't get a whole lot farther away than the team he roots for, so there wouldn't be a lot of games to sit through, but that never mattered. We had to watch this game because it was important if they won or lost. Another game didn't matter in that respect, but we watch because it's football, and it's on. Now my Saturdays are tied up too. He roots for a team that is frequently on tv, so no dodge ther, and with the complex BCS rankings thingy, all games are important. When he's in full effect of football withdrawal, he goes to......Arena Football. No disrespect for people who enjoy it - please feel free to do so - but it makes me wish for regular football back.

I usually find something to do to keep my occupied while the games are on, and last night was no different. One thing we do enjoy together, however, is ranking on what should be loosely termed as "Color Commentator Teams". Our favorite target is John Madden. Words fail me to describe him. He's all circular talk, Telestrator play, and Brett Favre references. We both adore Frank Caliendo (You Tube him sometime) and his dead-on take on Madden ("Brett Favre could lose both arms and both legs and he'd still be the best torso in football!").

Anyway, the commentary team that was on the game we were watching (don't remember who - it was college - that's all I remember) is one that he particularly doesn't like. There are two people in the group that seem to be ok, but one who just has absolutely no clue, and he seems to speak the most. He made a lot of glaring errors, and strange comments. As I have my head buried in my laptop, working on another part of the PM chain that was going on last night, I hear something that should never EVER come up during a football game (or anywhere else at this point in time anymore):

Weird Dude: "Hey! What the heck is Britney doing?"
Normal Commentator: "Who?"
Weird Dude: "Britney! What in the heck is she doing anymore?"
Other Normal Commentator: "Britney who?"
Weird Dude: "Britney Spears, of course! What's the deal with her lately?"
Normal Commentator: "Why do we care?"

THANK YOU NORMAL COMMENTATOR! And apparently we weren't the only ones who thought that Saturday Night College Football wasn't the appropriate place to bring up Britney Spears, as they hurriedly cut to commercial, and then never mentioned it again.

And on another note.......

College Football is an animal all it's own, and one I don't think I'll ever fully get. I can understand why people get hyped up about their Alma Maters (GO YSU PENGUINS!!) but around here, Penn State is a religion, and I know very few people who have actually gone there. My cousin, a co-worker - that's all I can think of. They are fanatics, but I understand. The remainder of the people who live around here? Not so much.

We fly the Buckeye flag (two of them, in fact) in front of our house. We have our reasons. A lot of them have to do with the fact that we are fans of their coach (going back to his YSU days - I've met Jim Tressel, and he's a great guy). Apparently, that's not cool around here. Apparently there's an 11th Commandment that states "Thou Shalt Root For Penn State" that I'm not aware of. The topic has been brought up in church. We've had people refuse to wait on us in stores. I'm serious. People: there are more important things in this world. Seriously. Church is not the place to air a football rivalry. But that's enough of that.

Wow. I guess I managed, in my rambly and disjointed way, to actually blog about football.

This one is for you, honey.

I Never Thought I'd Find Myself Agreeing With Oprah

But I think she has hit the nail on the head with this one:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20773318/

First off, let me say that I sympathize with both the Brown and Goldman families. My heart goes out to them. In a million years, I couldn't imagine what they are going through. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

That being said, my personal opinion is that the Goldman family needs to start healing. Holding in all this hate isn't doing them any good. Mr. Goldman has been quoted as saying that he hasn't slept since his son was murdered. I can understand that. I just can't understand how he can, in good conscience, release this book.

When I see Mr. Goldman decrying the publication of this book, and then choosing to publish it himself, calling it gratifying that he was able to "snatch it away" from OJ makes me look at him with a hypocritical eye. Why was it ok in one instance, then not ok in the next? Ye olde double standard strikes again.


I was a bit puzzled when Mr. Goldman was just so passionate about it not being published. Under the Son Of Sam laws (and OJ was convicted in civil court, so I would think that would count), he should have been able to funnel all of OJ's potential profit toward the $30+ million judgement that I'm sure he has come nowhere near fulfilling. Instead, he will pocket the profits. Not to defend OJ in the slightest, but will he put any of the profits toward satisfying that judgement? Share any with the Brown family, or Nicole's children? I doubt it.

Instead, it's just something else for Mr. Goldman to be angry about. I shook my head when he said he wanted to buy OJ's Heisman himself just so he could smash it. I shook it just as much when he bragged about snatching the book away from OJ. It's the same thing. The Brown family has been more cool and collected. They also decried the publication of the book, but they disagree vehemently with the Goldman family and their decision.

Sadly, there is nothing, I repeat NOTHING in the world that can bring these two people back. In my heart of hearts, I believe OJ did it, but that he had help - I just don't think he's smart enough to pull it off himself. I also think he was deserving of having that judgement levied against him. The Goldman family had an opportunity to have more put to that judgement, but they chose not to. If satisfying it would give them some type of closure, it won't happen in their lifetime - they'll see to that themselves that they can hold it over OJ's head until he dies.


Again, I'm NOT defending OJ in the slightest, but I'm just confused as to why rational human beings wouldn't want to try and end this so they could move forward with their lives. You won't sleep until you let go of some of this hate. I don't think your loved one would want you to be acting like this in his name. I could be wrong, but I know I wouldn't want it in my name.

Just Say No To Hotlinks

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Or am I just a schlub?

I belong to a small, relatively private forum. We have a good time. A number of people were posting old local commercials. I went to youtube, looking for a number of oldies but goodies that I remember. I didn't manage to turn any up, but I did find one that I vividly remembered from my time in Northeast Ohio.

It was for a nursing home. The TV played it to death. It was constantly on. The woman who "narrated" the commercial looked somewhat like my roommate at the time. She walked through the commercial, very stiff and wooden, speaking slightly stilted, like she was reading a cue card. They talked about the luxury of their home, and how happy it was. The old people looked happy enough, but the whole thing was kind of laughable. On an off-note, this nursing home is still up and running - has been for a long time, and they get good marks from the state, so it's not "the crooked home from 60 Minutes" (ala The Simpsons), but perhaps you "had to be there" to find this commercial humorous.

Anyway, it was a reply to the post that got me to start digging. I wanted to see if they were still in business (hence I found the information mentioned above), and if I could find current pictures (no dice). It was then I saw a link to a report in the local newspaper, and thought I'd take a gander. I had misread the blip appearing on Google - I thought someone had walked away from the home, but it was different, and worse than that.

They told the story of an elderly man. His wife lived at the home. He came everyday for dinner, and then sat at her bedside. One day, she got sick, and they rushed her off to the local hospital. He followed in his car. He stayed at the hospital, and then left when visiting hours were over. His wife went back to the home, but he did not. He never returned. He never showed up for dinner at the home again. The article said the people at the home were concerned, and said that the last time he came in, he appeared a little confused. I began feverishly googling for this man. What became of him? Why did he just disappear? I found an obituary for a man with a similar name, but he died in another state. Then I found the follow-up article.

Turns out the man in the obituary was indeed the man I was looking for. His car was found down over the bank on a logging road TWO STATES AWAY. They think he got disoriented some time after he left the hospital, and ended up on this road that was like 250 miles from his home. They found him, deceased, outside his car. They think he was trying to find help. They believe he died from exposure to the cold. Just having had my grandmother diagnosed with Alzheimer's (who is in assisted living), it's an absolutely frightening thought, and I feel so sorry for his family.

But aside from the sadness, this is not the first time I started out doing a simple google search, and ended up off on a wild tangent, looking for something else, and in this case ending up bumming for the night, or more commonly up until 3am looking at the computer. I should just say no to hotlinks not directly pertaining to what I'm looking for. Will I learn any time soon? Nope. I've found some cool stuff just roaming around. This one, unfortunately, didn't have a happy ending.

"You'll Never Look At Music The Same Way Again"

-Original MTV Teaser Line

I haven't watched the MTV Awards, in total or earnest, since 1988. Seriously. That's the last time that I cared about it. I briefly tuned in a few years back to see Duran Duran pick up a lifetime achievement award, and due to technical difficulties, it ended up being a real bust.

I taped the whole evening back in 1988 (still have the tape, too). It was a good evening. Started out with everyone's (well, mine at least) favorite game show, Remote Control. They had a contest, and the winner got to be on Remote Control, and then go to the VMA's afterward. They had a one-hour show where it showed this guy trying to get to the VMA's with Colin Quinn and Ken Ober (I think - it's been a long time).

Then they had the VMA's. The big winner was INXS, winning a lot of awards for "I Need You Tonight". I seem to remember Guns 'N Roses singing "Welcome To The Jungle". The VJ's (when they were still good) were out in full force. It was the typical, glamorous MTV evening. The tape wraps up with Adam Curry in the bathroom (the only quiet place in the building) to recap the winners by showing the videos that took awards. What's not to love? I was about a month shy of turning 15. It was sheer heaven for me.

Then it all started to change.

Remote Control was no longer as fun as it once was. Music started to change. By 1989, there was a surge of hair metal - something I never could stomach, and the roots of what would later become grunge were starting to take hold. Metallica was finding a strong presence for their dark music. Groups that I liked were slowly fading away, or weren't turning out videos like they once had. There was a change in VJ's. MTV also first made the initial turn to being largely scheduled programming, as opposed to showing videos. To quote a favorite movie, "I preminiced no return of the salad days". Gasp - I started watching more......VH-1! (shhh - don't tell)

The daily viewings of "Yo! MTV Raps" ceased in the summer of 1989. I would enjoy hip-hop for a few more years, but rap was beginning to drift from the Old Skool that I loved so much. I stopped watching Club MTV around the same time. It had grown stale. I started watching Headbanger's Ball in 1992, when I met Nelson. He had been with it from the beginning, when Adam Curry and Kevin Seal were hosting. Then Ricki Rachtman took over. We stuck with it until the bitter end, in 1995. By that time, it was sucking large. We groaned every time that Rob Zombie came on to paint the walls. Beavis and Butthead were canceled in 1997, and that ended my MTV watching days, until The Osbournes were picked -up, and then we watched only long enough to catch the episode. And so, I bid Adieu to MTV - a mere shell of it's former, glorious self.

I was a true MTV junkie. I couldn't wait to get it on when I got home from school. I was glued to each World Premiere. When we finally got cable, we were on a different system from the kids I went to school with, and thus I was the only one who got MTV. For a while, everyone was jealous.

So what brought back all this waxing nostalgic? Last night's train-wreck. I'd heard the awards were on, but had no interest in watching. I saw the clip on the MSN page about Britney Spears being nothing short of embarrassing, and it sparked a thread on a forum I belong to. I listed my reasons for disillusionment with MTV, and the current state of the music industry in general. That brought up an interesting MTV discussion with some good points by a good friend of mine:

I think a big part of the problem with the VMA's is what MTV started out as, and what it has become in the last 25 years.

MTV was "cool" when it started out, back before everything in the entertainment industry went completely corporate. If you were a new artist and MTV and played your video, chances are you were going to be huge. I may be remembering this incorrectly, but I'm pretty sure MTV essentially made Madonna. It was a network for the younger generation, irreverent and sort of anti-authoritarian. I think the VMA's started out the same way -- a hip, cool awards show that was everything the old, stodgy Grammy's weren't.

But over the years it seems like the VMA's have become another established corporate awards show -- just like the Grammy's. MTV is nothing more than a set of offices at CBS/Viacom, and instead of being run by people who love music and know what's "cool", it's being run by recent college graduates who are simply chasing ratings and ad revenue. Their idea of "programming" is trying to capitalize on whatever the 18-34 demographic thinks is cool.

So in reality, MTV sold it's soul to the almighty dollar a long time ago. And because of that, I would say that MTV is essentially irrelevant today -- just another cable channel that used to be about music but somewhere along the line decided that crappy reality shows starring Ashley Simpson get better ratings.

Not helping at all is the sorry state of the music industry, where there are very few legitimate "stars" or even people with any demonstrable talent. Just a bunch of bands and pop stars created and manufactured by record labels, many of whom don't stick around long enough for anyone to care about them. And even a lot of the big names are "stars" only because they're on TV a lot, or because the kids think
they're "cool" -- not because they have any actual talent.

Ok. I get it now. It took the above to hit me with a wake-up call. While MTV has changed their format (and not for the better), I have simply outgrown it. Like it or not, I'm no longer their target demographic. I have officially become middle aged. I guess it was bound to happen. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch some VH-1............

To All The People I've Run Into In The Last Few Days

Thank you so much for trying to ruin my vacation! I say "try", because as hard as you pushed, we managed to push back harder and eventually get it evened out, but there was a lot of tense moments and complaining that did not need to happen. Let me preface this by saying that this does NOT apply to my friends and family - I have yet to see them fall in to this category. If you, however, see any of yourself in this, perhaps it's time for a heart-to-heart.

I'd first like to thank the parents of the two toddlers at the National Historical site - the ones with the heavy-duty anglo-saxon names. What a joy your kids were. For starters, I can't imagine why the thought that the kids would enjoy something like that ever seemed like a good idea. Their constant screaming and whining and throwing themselves down on the ground should have been the first red flag. Thanks so much for the entertainment of having to follow them around while they pitched a constant fit. How great it was to have them run around, being disruptive and destructive. And what fine role models you must be. The sign says "NO SMOKING"? Heck, that doesn't apply to you - just go for it. Let's forget for just a moment that you are surrounded by woodlands and highly combustible buildings hundreds of years old. Heck, I'd have respect for you as you threatened me and started counting (only to not do anything to back that up), cigarette hanging out of the corner of your mouth....... You owe me the cost of 3 admissions, plus something for aggrivation.

A follow-up kudo goes to the guy who took the toddler in to the high-cost gift shop, only to have the child accidentally destroy some stuff, and then take off without owning up to it - another fantastic role model. Why teach the kid to take responsibility for their actions? I'm not saying that the little one meant to do it - which just proves my point that perhaps taking them in there in the first place wasn't a good idea - but what a great opportunity to teach them that even if it is an accident, you have to make things right. Instead, you reinforced the notion that the current generation already runs rampant with that NOTHING is their fault. So let's instead blame the people who run the gift shop (in an effort to help fund the site) for putting out breakable things. How dare they?

My second big thanks goes to the parents of the "tween" at another place we stopped. How wise of you to buy your kid the sneakers that have those stupid little wheels in them. For starters, they're dangerous to the kids. Second, the kids use them at totally inappropriate times. It's no wonder that so many public places have banned them. I would be surprised if this place hadn't, but then again, following the rules is too much to ask for some people. Your kid thought it would be fun to wheel around (without being under your supervision) and when they ran into someone who was minding their own business, rather than just going on their way, they decided to make an issue out of it. Rather than just letting it drop or admitting they shouldn't have been doing what they were doing , they turned a simple reflex of putting a hand up to try and brace for an impact in to a "hit". Embarassed, the kid probably stomped off, found the parents, and fibbed that the person hit him, for attention or effect (the fact that they were tooling around on wheels in a busy public place tells me it's an attention thing). We were all kids. We've all done this. Problem is, my mom would not have believed me had I been making it up. She had that way of getting to the truth. Furthermore, she wouldn't have allowed me to get away with it without apologizing to the person I bumped into. She wouldn't have gotten into a screaming match with the person who was the innocent bystander in all of this. She wouldn't have lectured them. She wouldn't have continued screaming long after the other person walked away, not wanting to fan the flames further. I know the innocent party. They used to teach small children and they mentor abused children who were removed from their homes. They were an abused child themselves - they don't hit children. Perhaps you need to tell your kid the difference between right and wrong, and that lying is a bad thing that can get innocent people in trouble. In other words, TELL THE TRUTH. You owe me the cost of admission for 4 people, and the cost of 2 sets of cab fare for running out and back to this site, and big-time for having to watch your tirade.

A side thanks goes to all the reckless baby stroller operators out there. I'm sure your 3 month old baby woke up in the morning and begged you to take them to the museum, fair, etc. How fun for the kids to have to be shuttled around all day to things they can't comprehend. How great for them to be banged around all day when you continually push the stroller in to other people. I'm not saying you can't take the babies out, but how about something more age-appropriate? If you want to go, try a babysitter, and go by yourselves.

My last big thanks goes to the people who just can't resist showing off their vast knowledge in public - whether you want it or not. Thanks so much to the people who stood behind me at a display, telling me ahead of time what all was going to happen. I guess the fact that I hadn't seen it before didn't occur to you, or it did but you just didn't care. I also appreciate it when you take the time to tell me how you've seen this before, but it was someplace else, and it was much nicer. Not content with letting it drop after we asked you to stop telling us about it before we've seen it, you had to then go accost someone else in my party at another display and proceed to start all over again. I'd demand my admission back, but I'm already getting it from the lying tween, so I'll just take your promise to stop doing that - ever again.

I'm not anti-kid. Not at all. But I am anti-bad behavior, and there's so much of it out there, and not just from kids - you adults do your fair share too, and in all honesty, the kids just don't come into the world behaving badly. There was an excellent article on MSN once about how we're doing the current generation no service by holding them blameless or everything, but apparently, no one has read it. Also, apparently no one watches shows like "Shalom In The Home" where they show that kids want, need, and respect boundaries, and that they really want parents - not pals. That's been proven time and again - it's a shame no one listens.

I'm sure I'll get the usual hate mail. I've been told that since I don't have kids (the good lord did not bless me in that way), I'm not allowed an opinion where they are concerned, but that's crap. If I'm forced to have to spend time with them, then I'm allowed an opinion. Besides, as I've said before, the kids get the bad behavior from somewhere............

Brick Walls, Frustration, and Red Tape

I'm trapped in Government limbo. It's a place that should be reserved for the most evil of society, but I'm doomed to stay here until who -knows-when. This all started back in April.

Nelson's step-dad (Ray) brought up some of Nelson's dad's (George) military records. His honorable discharge from the Marines, etc. It wasn't a whole lot to go by, but it gave us an interesting glimpse in to a part of George's life that by all accounts he really didn't speak much about.

We learned that he went in to the Marines when he was 18. We learned that he hadn't graduated High School (not uncommon in the early 60's), so the Marine Corps helped him get his diploma. He was a Private, First Class. He was a sharpshooter. He'd spent over one year in service abroad, although it didn't say where (we had been told Viet-Nam and Cuba by a number of people). When he was done with his service, he spent two years in the reserves. He received several medals and awards, including a good conduct medal and a sharpshooters medal. By all accounts, he loved to hunt and was an excellent hunter, so this would all make sense. Nice to tie up loose ends. As we were setting up the various pieces of the entertainment center, we put George's casket flag, a Marine bear, and a US flag on top of one of them. It looked very nice. Nelson said "I wonder if there would be any way that we could find one of dad's service pictures?". And so it began......


I contacted the Marine HQ in Washington DC. They were speedy, and very helpful. They directed me to the offices I could contact for one of his photos. Problem is, it all depended on where he went to boot camp. I replied to the Marines about that, and they said there was really no way to tell me where he went. Since he was inducted East of the Mississippi, it was most likely he ended up at Parris Island. OK, I'll start there. I tried calling the office repeatedly, but no one ever answered. I tried calling their family office, and they kept referring me to the VA. Well, the VA can't help because he's deceased. They offered me counseling, but I politely declined.


Finally, I reached someone at the photo office. She said yes, she could get me a photo, but it would be a Platoon photo. Fine with us - anything is better than nothing. She said that all she needed was a Platoon number. Brick wall. I had his DD214 (official separation document) but his boot camp platoon number is nowhere to be found. She said that recruits will send home a postcard with all their info on it. No earthly clue where that would be - he was in and out before he married my late mother-in-law.

She said that all photos are negatives stored in a huge facility by platoon number. She said that she could also really use the graduation date (we could narrow it down to a time frame of about 4 months) and a Drill Sergeant, but could do nothing at all without the platoon number. She directed me on how to contact the government for his records. It was a website. I was happy to see that. I trudged through all the paperwork, only to find out that you had to mail it in, and that likely what they would provide you with was a DD214, which I already have. I requested anything other than his DD214 or Honorable Discharge because I already had them - especially anything with his platoon number on it. But here's the kicker: if no one has that, how can we ever find him? He's been deceased for 25 years. There's nowhere to go if the Marines can't dig it up.


We also found, in our travels, that we can apply for replacements for all his medals/ribbons/commendations, etc. We also have no idea where any of this went. Again, it was off with the paperwork which has to be mailed to a different address. Couldn't be easy - heck no.
I did contact the recruiting office that he likely went through (or the closest one). They were nice, and tried to help, but a new recruit came through the door while I was speaking to him. I asked if it was OK if I faxed down the paperwork, and he said that would be fine. He never called back.

I found some people at Leatherneck Magazine who were very helpful. They'll be running an ad in their next magazine, and hopefully we can find someone who served with him. He was part of a large regiment. Hopefully there is someone out there who knew him.
Then, I found out that he's eligible for another commendation that he can receive posthumously. This one had a website to apply for it. Great! Then I found out the government took it down, and everything has to be done by......mail. The government moves at the speed of an injured snail. Who knows if we'll ever see any of this.


I tried contacting my congressmen. No dice. Their websites all say "for copies of military records, contact the national archives at.....". Yeah, I already did that. There's got to be a better way out there somewhere. You'd think that they'd be jumping at the chance to assist the family of a deceased veteran. Don't get me wrong - I've been receiving courteous replies everywhere I turn, but the system of red tape and uncertainty just stinks.

I think I'm going to keep looking for some assistance. Hopefully someone out there knows a better way to do this.

I'm Not Just A Member, I'm Also The President

I try not to gripe too much on my blog. I sort of ruined my first blog by treating it as a place to rant and vent. Before too long, I lost the urge to continue to post to it because I saw it as so negative. There are times, however, when it's good to gripe, and this is one of them.

By now, anyone who wasn't involved in the fiasco that has happened in the last year and a half is probably going "oh no - not again". Unfortunately, it's one of those situations that unless you've been there, you won't really understand. Normally, I'd not even bother to post on that type of situation, but this is one of those things that you just feel the need to scream at the top of your lungs that you've been wronged, and the sheer magnitude of the bull that went on is unfathomable. There was a small group of us affected. We talk about it. We complain about it. We rant about it when some new crap is perpetuated. We try to get over it. Problem is, we can't.

It's not because we don't want to. It's not because we're living in the past. Rather, it's the other party involved that refuses to let it die.

Honestly, we'd all be happy to have moved on, aside from the occasional playful jab at the offending party, but it just keeps going on. Every time we try to distance ourselves, we get drug back in. The question we keep asking is that if they decided that they didn't want us around and we had to go, then why do they continue to use information and footage that we supplied to them? When one person got the boot, they were told via e-mail that their footage would be destroyed and not used. Ok - no problem. But it gets better. Not only does this person contiune to use their footage in clips that they create, but they continue to use clips created by the booted person. So much for destroying footage.

So rightly so, the booted person saw this, and fought back. He complained to the service showing the clips that the clip was his property, and that he was no longer affiliated with this group, and he would like his clip removed. They were great about it, and complied. Case closed. Or not......
Immediately, backlash ensued. I was told by jerk-of-the-century that he was being sued by the company that was airing the clip because he violated copyright regulations because of a song that appeared in the clip. Problem is, I know the truth. I was copied on the correspondance with the company showing the clip. The song in the video has no copyright - it's under creative commons, and as long as the artist got credit, there would be no problems. Rather than just let it slide, as no one would have likely even noticed it was gone, or even say the clip had been pulled for unknown reasons, they decided to launch a vicious campaign that was complete and total BS - 100%. Furthermore, I got drug in to it.

I was told that I needed to have the booted person contact him because he was named as a co-defendent in this (ficticious) lawsuit, and he could be liable for half of a ridiculous sum like $14,000. Little did he know that I knew that I knew he'd been attempting to contact the booted person consistantly since he booted him - not just since this issue. Also, he told me to tell booted person that he could have his work admired by tons of people if he'd let it be. What dippity-do-dah won't understand is that this was just a hobby for us - nothing we want to pursue as a full-time job, so the admiration of millions simply doesn't mean that much to us. Booted person, as I would, totally ignored all contact attempts. Why subject yourself to more needless grief? I forwarded the message to booted person, who decided it was finally time to fight back, and he sent him a fantastic scathing e-mail, calling his bluff on the whole thing. Needless to say, we never heard about it again.

We try to shoot down outright lies when we catch them, but what is even more unnerving than that, is the fact that once someone calls him on it, he immediately goes in to the Piss-And-Moan-About-Everything Club. As I said at the beginning, he isn't just a member - he's also the president. Boo hoo, poor me. No one understands me. No one likes me. Everyone is deserting me. No one supports what I do. The one that ticks me off the most, however, is when we get blamed for his lack of work. Nothing significant has been done on this project since LAST SUMMER. He can say all he wants that he's gotten so much done - show me the money! All I've been shown is a ever so slight blurb. Meanwhile, he keeps blaming the push back on the finalization date on work, problems with other companies, problems that we've caused, etc. Gripe, gripe, gripe. Don't do anything about it - just gripe away. And while you're at it, blame all your problems on us. After all, we're not around to defend ourselves. Have a pity party. Have it with all your friends (and I mean true friends, not just hanger-on's). I have a feeling you might be the only one there. Keep it up. You'll be completely alone sooner than you think if you keep playing these crappy kindergarten games.

I could be a jerk too. I could name names. I could mention specifics, like this person's websites, and call them on their bluff in terms of the promises he makes that he can't back up, and his complete line of bull. I could go on all day, but I won't. I refuse to sink to that level. One thing I will guarantee is this: what I say (unilke other people I could mention) is the truth. And I can back it up.

Now hopefully, this will all blow over......again. I'm hoping it stays that way, but I'm not holding my breath.

The Best "Mis"-laid Plans Of Morons And Men

a/k/a If You Say You're Gonna Do It, Then DO IT!!


Something my parents tried to raise me to live by was that if you say you are going to do something, then do it. If you find out at some point that you can't, then be honest and tell someone. It's not fair if you have others relying on you to do something. I try my darnedest to do that. Honestly, sometimes things happen and someone gets left hanging, but that is few and far between. Few things irritate me more than waiting around on someone who never shows up, or similar.

I've always been fairly naive. It's something that I've been working on for most of my life. I'd been stomped on so many times by people who I thought were my friends that I've lost count. I'm fiercely loyal to my friends, so it is possible for a smooth talker to blindside me, and it has happened more often than I care to admit. Despite being fairly good at separating the genuine people from losers, every now and again, one sneaks through, which leaves me to shake my head in the aftermath.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not on a "poor me" kick (another thing that irritates me, but that's for another day). I try to learn from my mistakes. It may take me a while to catch on, but I will eventually. It is a shame, though, that this has happened so many times, because it can cause me to take a more critical look at someone who may be genuine. I'd love to be able to take everyone at face value, but that can work in reverse as well - I've met people that I wouldn't normally think to associate with because of their outward persona or what that is perceived to be by others, but they've turned out to be great people. It's just a tough spot to be in, and I guess that to get suckered occasionally is just part of life's ride.

This happened to me recently. I got suckered in by a smooth talker with big dreams. I blindly believed in this person. They could give me recognition on a national level for things I was helping them do, and that appealed to me. A chance to shove it in the face of people who said I'd never amount to anything. I should have gone with my gut, but I happily followed along. I bragged. I told people that I was going places. I should have kept my mouth shut.

I made a number of friends through this endeavour. Most of us were in the same boat. We believed what we were told my Mr. Smooth Talker. We all gave a lot, but increasingly were getting nothing (and occasionally unwarranted grief) for our efforts. People started to grumble. For the first time, someone told me that I shouldn't pin any hopes on this person because he can't follow through with anything. I ignored them, against my better judgement. I continued to brag. Smooth Talker promised me some major things, and I threw myself in to it lock, stock, and barrel. I ignored all the warning signs. I put myself and my good name out there for this person. I got stomped on. As predicted, they never followed through on anything, eventually abandoning the project without even having the decency to tell me. I found out by noticing it had been removed from a list of outstanding projects.


Even after Mr. Smooth Talker himself got run over by Ms. Smoother Talker (who continues to run him over, despite his being told by several of us that she wasn't what she appeared to be), I continued to just kid myself that it was stress (a favorite excuse of his) and that it would all smooth over. After he began believing lies about the friends I made (and I have proof that they're lies) and he began booting them one by one, I told myself this was just temporary.

Slowly, I began to realize that I was being squeezed out. It was obvious to everyone but me until the bitter end. He didn't have the guts to tell me - he just let Ms. Smooth Talker run roughshod all over everything I did. When I called him on it (and the treatment of some others), he told me he was unaware, but did nothing about it. That, in my opinion, is unacceptable, and was the final straw.

I realized that in my zeal, I tossed out one of my good points - my fierce loyalty to my friends. I remained silent while the gruesome twosome steamrolled over the friends that I made. I also realized these were good friends - as opposed to Dumb and Dumber - who were there when I had to go for surgery, when Nelson was diagnosed with Cancer, and any host of problems that came along. I'd get an occasional note from one of the other two, but a lot of it was "I don't know what to say for stuff like that - I'm not good with these situations". Again, I don't need someone holding my hand every step of the way, but when life hits you with something blind, it's nice to have people to lean on, or at least someone who listens. They don't have to have the answers. And I'm always more than happy to return that favor.

Taking out the trash was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Part of me still clung to the hope that this was a temporary setback, but I was just fooling myself. I wrote the letter. I asked a friend to read it for me. I sent it when I knew the recipient would not be at home.

Immediately after that, I deleted this person from my e-mail address book, and blocked their e-mail, and any e-mail coming from their url's. I removed them from all of my friend lists from any number of websites. I deleted all information from my computer that pertained to anything having to do with them. When the computer asked me if I'd like to take them to the trash can, I chuckled as I sent it there. I have absolutely no regrets for any of it - even the time I wasted chasing someone else's ill-conceived pipe dream. The small handful of friends I've made more than makes up for any bad stuff. It just feels good to get it out when something sucks me back in, like what's going on currently.

This person's grandiose dreams just keep getting bigger, and more ridiculous. Not just content to continue to ruin their name and reputation, they continue to drag the name and rep of others down with them. These new people, unaware that the Smooth Talkers have zero track record or completions under their belts, believe the hype and proudly announce their affiliation with various projects, none of which will likely ever see the light of day.

It doesn't just upset me - it upsets the others that got sucked in before me, only to be spit out. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about it except for vent when it comes up. It would be poor of us to say to these people "You know, I wouldn't hang my hat on anything they tell you, and we speak from experience", because we'd be no better than any of them and their games.

This is one thing, unfortunately, they'll have to learn on their own. And maybe, just maybe, something may someday get done. But even if it did, I want no part of it. The so-called reward is just not worth it.

I Keep Holding On To Yesterday

It's in my blood. I can't help it, or myself. My name is Railyn. I am a packrat.

I place the blame solely on my late Grandma Rose. She grew up during the depression, in a poor Jewish family that fled Russia in the middle of the night during the Bolshevik Revolution. They landed in Philadelphia, and set up a new life for themselves.

I'm not getting down on Grandma Rose. Not at all. She was a great lady. She could do amazing things with little supplies or money. Think MacGyver, but as a 4'10" woman with a fiery attitude and a cigarette perpetually hanging out the side of her mouth. After she and Grandpa Bill passed, we were amazed at the things we dug out of her house. Tons of Sucrets boxes full of buttons, bra hooks and eyes, and snaps. Bags full of zippers. Tons of scraps of fabric that weren't large enough to do much of anything with. Her jewelry box was full of broken pieces, and uprooted stones. To most people, it looked like junk, but it was a way of life for her - a necessity for survival.

Every time clothing had passed it's usefulness, everything that could be harvested was removed: buttons, snaps, hooks and eyes, zippers...... They were saved, in case they might be needed again. The clothing itself was cut in to pieces, and used for any number of things, from rags to pillow stuffing. Same with jewelry that ended up broken. She might be able to use the stones from it again if one happened to fall out, or perhaps she could repair a broken pin with pieces from another. We initially shook our heads, but then gave her props for it. While it created a mountain of stuff to sort out and toss, she managed to save money wherever she could. In a throw-away society, she never wasted anything.

My mom picked up her habit. She didn't save bits of cloth or buttons, but she's got old outdated clothing, shoes and purses galore, and more boxes of books than most libraries. Being that her parents were antiques dealers later in life, she never threw out a bunch of knick-knacks, dishes, and other things because "they might be valuable". That's the bad habit that I then picked up.

I collect stuff. Problem is, I get gung ho on something, then tire of it. I married someone the same way. He picked that habit up from his mother. I try not to tap in to the latest fads, though, as she did. She had more Beanie Babies than I would ever know what to do with. They still sit in the largest tote that Rubbermaid has. Nelson's step-dad wanted to get rid of them, but collectively they're worth less than she paid for one of the more expensive ones.


I started collecting Star Wars when the movies were retooled and re released. I got weary of it quickly, and it sits in a box in the basement. I was on a View Master kick for a while. I've always loved them, but instead of just buying reels, I bought a Talking View Master that works well, but by design they sound like garbage. It's gathering dust in a closet. I got on a brief Rugrats kick - that stuff sits in the basement as well. Same with Lilo and Stitch. And the music group KISS. Tons of stuff sitting around gathering dust. And we won't even start on Nelson's collection of Matchbox Convoy trucks, or older WWF merchandise.

When Nelson's step-dad moved, he couldn't fit his 64" Sony Projection TV in the new house anywhere that it worked well. He asked us if we wanted it. Um, yeah! Then we looked at our house. The amount of crap was just unbelievable. We thought about just packaging it up and sending it downstairs, but that just makes more problems - the basement is very full......of junk we put down there.

We started going through boxes. It went like this:

"Um, why do we have this?"
"Well, I bought that for you when........."
"Ok. We'll keep it."
"Ok, why do we have this?"
"Remember, you liked {insert here} and your mom bought that for you......"
"Ok. We'll keep it."


Repeat as needed.

Several hours later, all we had done was shuffled things from one box to another. We tossed a few things, but nothing worth writing home about. We finally decided enough was enough. Several garbage bags and boxes later, we've cleared an amazing amount of room at the house. Total crap got thrown, things that someone else might want were set aside for a yard sale which will take place in about 2 weeks, and anything remotely valuable (WWF Stuff, Star Wars Stuff, etc) is being sent to the ebay Drop Off store. It was time to let a lot of stuff go, and put a period to a lot of partial collections.


I kept two things from the Star Wars end: an Ewok that belongs to Nelson, and my Chewbacca statue that is carrying C3PO on his back in pieces. The rest is gone - books, small figures, etc. I've kept all my View Master viewers and reels, but anything having to do with the Talking View Master is gone. Most of my KISS stuff is going. I'm keeping a few things, but the books (except for my KISSTORY book), action figures, patches, framed photos, posters, and stuff like that are going. Anything Rugrats is gone. Anything Lilo and Stitch, with the exception of my lithographs, is gone. All WWF stuff, with the exception of a few videos and dvd's, is gone. Matchbox Convoy Trucks and Over-The-Road Convoy Truck Stop: gone. It's quite liberating.

I'm retaining my Olympics collection, my Monkees collection, my New York Rangers collection, and my record collection. Nelson is keeping his Miami Dolphins and Dan Marino collections. I am not eliminating my vast sheep collection, but it is being pared down considerably. I am also thinning out my board games in terms of games we found weren't fun, or we don't play, or that I have duplicates of.


I'm shocked at how much extra room we have, even with a massive TV taking up a big chunk of our living room.

So people out there that have ever received a gift from me: you needn't hang on to it if you never use it, or have lost your enthusiasm for whatever it was. Please don't clutter your house on my account. You have my blessing to regift, yard sale, Goodwill, or ebay it. Chances are good, I may have done the same to you........

Everything Old Is New Again

or so the old song says.

I've been watching this for some time now, slightly disappointed at the lengths that two grown people will go to over something like this. I generally shy away from the forums that MSN provides for their articles, as they usually just turn in to ugly insult-fests, but I couldn't let this one go.

I've attached a link to the article itself, and then my reply (so no one has to wade through the 15 pages of replies.....):

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=267163&GT1=7703

As has been stated many times over, there is no such thing as new comedy. Comedy borrows heavily on real life, and since illegal immigrants are so much in the news, half to 3/4 of the comedians out there will have that in their arsenal.

Also, life is cyclical, and certain things will happen over and over. Every generation will complain about the president, the state of things in the US, foreign policies, the cost of merchandise, etc etc etc.....

It is absolutely impossible for someone to make sure that every single bit of material they have didn't come from somewhere else. I cracked a joke for years about roadside graffiti that says "Jesus Saves" or "Jesus Is The Answer" that appeared all over the place around here. I said "Gee, I don't remember where it says in the bible 'Go ye forth and spray-paint my name on every rock and overpass ye find'." A few years ago, I heard someone do something similar on tv. I had never met this person. I didn't know who they were. Either they had the same idea I did, or perhaps someone I told it to told someone, and they told someone........

And for people who think that Chappelle was the originator, go listen to the late great Robin Harris, or George Wallace and you may change your mind. I love Chappelle, but he wasn't this major original thinker. He just put a modern spin on it, and made it his own. Carlos Mencia is a character that he plays. Comedians do play characters, Chappelle included. He's always been honest about his past that I have seen. Getting angry about him playing a character that isn't close enough to his real life would equate to someone getting angry at Ralph Macchio for being over 20, and not being a real martial arts champ when he did the Karate Kid (I know, bad analogy, but it's all I can come up with right now).

It happens all over the entertainment industry. George Harrison was sued by the Chiffons, and lost, because they felt that "My Sweet Lord" sounded entirely too much like "He's So Fine", and John Fogerty was sued by the other members of CCR because they said "The Old Man Down The Road" sounded too much like "Run Through The Jungle" (he won that case because he wrote both, and the court ruled you can't plagiarize yourself). I can't even begin to scratch the surface on how many tv shows and movies are re-worked and re-released.

And lastly, Joe Rogan didn't seem to have too much trouble appearing on Mind Of Mencia last season. I'm sure he collects royalties from that. I'm not hating on Joe Rogan - I believe you should stand up for what you believe in, but I just don't think the argument holds much water, and it gets weaker as time goes on.

Of course, I was quickly rebuffed, but hopefully I gave a few people something to think about. I dare anyone to say they've had an idea so original that no one had ever had it before, or they never borrowed heavily from someone else.

Parental Guidance Suggested

I saw this clever thing on another blog (thanks Leigh!) and thought I'd give it a go. Imagine my surprise to find this:

Mingle² - Online Dating

Apparently, the logic is that I used the world "dead" 6 times, and the word "hurt" 2 times. Um.....kay? But that's ok. I guess it's better than being Rated G.

So then I saw the zombie quiz, and being a huge fan of the genre, I thought I'd give it a go. I was pleased to know my chances are better than half:

61%

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Interesting stuff out there......

It No Longer Pays To Be Nice

I'm totally convinced of that. I used to hear that old adage, "no good deed goes unpunished", and once upon a time, I didn't understand what it meant. Unfortunately, now I do.

For example: last night, I had to run to Wal-Mart, unfortunately. I so wish we had a Target, or any other alternative (aside from the poor selection of the run-down K-Mart), but we don't. I used to work at that store (heck, I set-up and opened that store), and it's always like a zoo in there. I never understood why. Anyway, the parking lot is always a horrifying mess, and last night was no exception. As I was coming up the driveway, I noticed a pick-up truck attempting to leave the lot, but he had parked in one of the lanes that exits on to the pedestrian crosswalk, and it's next to impossible to pull out on a busy night. I thought I'd do my good deed for the day.
When I got there, I sat to allow the pedestrians to cross, and when the coast was clear, sat and waited to allow him to pull out finally. I sat and waited, and waited, and waited. All this time, I keep hearing a horn honk. I looked in my rear view mirror to see if someone behind me was getting impatient, but there was no one there. Finally, the truck pulled out. As he pulled out, he was giving me a nasty look, yelling at me, and shaking his fist. Apparently, he was waiting for me to come through, and that annoyed him.

I was steaming after he pulled away. Not gonna do anything nice for anyone ever again, I thought to myself. Of course, I don't mean that, but my whole point is this: when did we get to the point where we feel entitled to certain things, and abandoned all common courtesy?

Just something to ponder.

We Got The Phone Call We'd Been Waiting For

But there was a bittersweet downside.

The phone rang. I didn't recognize the name or phone number, but I saw it was from the 610 area code. We had placed two calls to Ray (Nelson's step-dad) asking him to call us and update us on the move, and to see if he needed any last-minute help. So, I decided to answer it.
It was a woman: "I was told that someone there wanted to know something about my Uncle George?".

This was a call we had been waiting for, and Nelson had gotten in to the shower about 2 minutes before. Figures. I spoke to her at length about a few things. She inquired as to how old the boys were, and where they were living/what they were doing with their lives. She said she felt very old because she remembered when the boys were born, and commented on how young they were when George died.

She was very pleasant, and said she'd help us in any way she could, and that the next time we were in the area to call, and we could come over to the house (and to bring pictures and whatnot that we need help on). We're hoping to do just that at the end of the month.
She also reiterated what the other gentleman that I spoke to did, and that was that they tried to keep up with Diane and the boys, but they just disappeared. This upset Nelson a bit. He said that it sucks that he grew up thinking that his dad's side of the family didn't care about them. He said he surmises that his dad's family didn't do something that his mom felt they should have (or a similar situation) around the time of his dad's passing, and that ticked her off. She bitterly held grudges, even ones over the span of decades. They were unaware that Diane had remarried until years later. They never knew Ray. They weren't even 100% sure they were still in the area (they were less than 25 miles away). And through it all, both of the people I talked to had nothing negative to say about Diane (that they were willing to say to me, at least). Makes you wonder.

He feels slighted that he's lost out on having a whole other part of his family that he could have been in contact with. Unfortunately, a lot of the older ones that were his dad's step-brothers and step-sisters are now gone, and that's a shame. He said it might be like someone who was adopted feels like. It's gratifying, and exciting but almost slightly overwhelming at the same time. I know that sometimes it's hard to take people at face value - especially when there's a quantity of unknown information, as is this case. I do, however, have a good bs-o-meter, and I think they're genuine (I have been known to be wrong - but not often).

So here's to looking forward to something good! I'm kind of excited......

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

An Open Letter To All E-Mail Scammers and Spammers:

Just how stupid do you think I am?

All day, I am bombarded with your garbage. The subjects seem to rotate, but it's garbage nonetheless, and I'm fed up.

I'll admit, the first time I got a security alert from ebay several years back, I almost fell for it, but something about the page didn't look right, and ebay confirmed it. Since then, I have been frequently getting them from Citibank, PayPal, Bank Of America, Chase Manhattan - all people I use. I am smart enough to know, however, that they wouldn't send me some generic e-mail demanding I put my personal information out there for the whole world to see.

You also like to bombard me with urgent security notices from Wells Fargo, National City, People's Bank, Fifth/Third Bank, Western Union, and countless other businesses/services that I do NOT use. Again, how stupid do you think I am?? Quit wasting your time on me!

Great! I won the lottery in Austria? Fantastic! I haven't been to Austria since 1989, but hey, they must remember me!! C'mon, I don't play the lottery in my own state ('though maybe I should......). Some deposed dictator (or their family/business associates/lawyer) wants to give me millions? And all I have to do is give you my bank account number? Sign me up!!! Well, no - that might subject me to any number of Federal/International Violations. Your offer of cashing money orders for you and receiving merchandise that I must forward to you sounds much safer......

And by the way, I'll pass on your offer for Viagra or Cialis. Same goes for your offers to enlarge my manhood. I'm female, thank you very much. I don't care to make my friends jealous of my super fantastic jealous of me and my weightloss with your miracle pill. And, just so you know, your offers to look at Russian Child Pornography were promptly reported to the FBI and other associated agencies.

Today I found this notice in my mailboxes at work a number of times: Hello! I am bored, today, interested in chattign iwth ncie rpetty girl? Email me at sp@MailVisionSite.info only Would you mind me showing some nice pictures of me? Again, I'm female, and straight for that matter (no digs to any of my alternative lifestyle friends). Even if I weren't, why would I want to talk to someone that can't even spell simple words?

I resent the fact that you make me waste time wading through your pathetic garbage. This causes me to have to put any number of measures in effect to try and keep you out. You just manage to get around it, and cause my legitimate mail to bounce into Spam. While I do my best to catch it, I frequently miss someones e-mail, causing them to be angry with me. Thanks so much for that.

While I occasionally see notes in the police blotter, despite all the warnings out there, that someone falls prey to your pathetic scams, I think that enough people out there know better than to fall for your garbage, and I would suggest you direct your efforts toward scamming someone else. Or better yet, how'd you like to buy some attractive land in Florida that I have......or perhaps a nice bridge?

Did You Ever Get The Feeling

that someone was trying to tell you something?

I thought I was done with high school in June of 1991. I was so wrong. I mentioned letting a friendship go in my last post. You'd think it would just be that easy, but nooooo.

Long story short as possible: I met this person about 2 years ago. They had a rudimentary website that I had been directed to. I liked what they were doing, and I offered my praise, and an offer for some assistance, if needed. To my surprise, this person jumped all over it, and offered me a (unpaid) position with their fledgling "company" (using that term loosely).

Being bored, and often having too much time on my hands, I seized this opportunity to have something to do, and to do something I enjoy. I worked long and hard toward this goal. I was thrilled to be able to brag that I was going to be a part of something cool.

I met a few people through this person that I liked, and we all became one big group of friends. We had a lot of fun, and enjoyed each other's company. As time went on, the friendship grew. I thought the world of these people. I thought absolutely nothing of hopping in a car and driving almost 12 hours (one way) to do not much more than sit down with them and have dinner. Two days later I turned around and went back home.

Then things started to turn. None of us saw it at first. It started with someone being brought in that we did not know. Where we would all once discuss and vote on things, this person was added with no consultation to us. We didn't think much of it - this person seemed OK - we all liked this person. We welcomed this person in to our little group. What no one saw was how much pull this person had with the "head" person (the one who started it all). We didn't notice that the "head" person put a lot of trust in the "new" person to "run the organization" in their increasingly limited free time. Power corrupts.

We don't know where things went really south, but new person decided that a few of us had to go. They started with the person that I think I grew closest to in the group. Last fall, my close friend went over and above what they had to do to discuss some things with new person (as they were instructed to do by head person). New person thought his idea was great, and that it should be implemented. Once my close friend implemented it, all hell broke loose.

I got home from work, and found an e-mail from head person telling me that my close friend was being let go for.......implementing the idea. I read the e-mail in disbelief. Not knowing what was really happening, I replied to the e-mail essentially saying "What you are doing is breaking my heart, but if what you are telling me is true, then I trust that you will do what is right and necessary." Later on that weekend, I got a call from my close friend, telling me the truth.

Over the course of the next few days, I tried to get everyone on board and back together, but it didn't happen. What I didn't see at the time was that there was so much divide-and-conquer going on with new person that it wasn't funny. They were pumping anyone and everyone for information, and I'm sure it was then cultivated, rearranged, and presented to head person. I caught on very quickly, and never said anything that would or could be held against me. The same could not be said for two other friends. One was axed without any good reason at all (but we surmised it was purely the affiliation with my close friend), and the other was axed, but I assume it was because of the conversations they had with new person - someone they thought they could trust (and, to a lesser degree, the above-mentioned affiliation). I, however, was lied to. I was told that they had quit. When I received e-mails from both of them questioning why they'd been axed, I smelled a rat.

I rode the next few months out, figuring someone would come to their senses, but it wasn't to be. I became increasingly angry at new person, and drastically cut my time there. I figured head person would ask why, giving me a chance to speak my mind. Nope. As time went on, I didn't end my friendship with any of the people who were drug down in this mess. I waited for the day when I too would be gone, but it didn't happen. I'm sure it was largely because I stopped associating with new person, and never gave new person anything to use against me.

I felt very guilty that I never stood up for my close friend as well as I should have. Even after I knew the truth. I just let it ride, and it always bothered me. About 2 weeks ago, another person was axed (well, this person was one that I mentioned above that I had been told quit - they did allow that person back - claimed it was a misunderstanding - sure) with absolutely no valid reason (other than they were one of the last of the old order). I'd had enough.

I confronted head person in a long, wordy, well-thought-out e-mail. I received several replies (typical of this person) running the gamut of emotion and coherence. I replied that I did not mean to send them in to a tizzy, and they answered back that it was OK, and that some of the points I made were valid. I finally gritted my teeth and let it all go. I said about all the garbage that new person was flinging, and that I was fed up with it, and did they even realize just how deep new person was taking this. No reply. It's been over two weeks. That speaks volumes.

In one of the emotionally charged e-mails, head person busted down my close friend - this was before I sent the final e-mail where I let it all go. It said that my close friend should stop being pigheaded and pick up the phone or e-mail. Understandably, my close friend had cut head person out of their life. All attempts to contact my close friend were ignored.

Inspired by my e-mail, my close friend decided to send a not-so-friendly e-mail to head person basically reiterating a lot of what I said and telling head person to get bent, I suspect. I doubt my close friend got a reply either. So today, I go over to log in to the website that I helped head person (and once my close friend) run. I still had my access, but not surprisingly, I'd lost a lot of my rights on the site. Head person then put up a note stating that they were closing one of the sites and consolidating, and made a number of statements that won't be of any importance here, but basically told me that my suggestions were totally ignored.

Sorry to be an ass, but my attitude toward this whole cluster anymore is "boo-freaking-hoo". I swear these people try to get off by making others feel sorry for them, or guilty (that goes for head and new person). Not gonna work on me anymore. I spoke my mind, and defended my friends as I should have a long time ago. My conscience is crystal-clear, and when (not if) that whole thing implodes, I'll have absolutely no regrets. I think I gained much more than head person and new person ever can: 5 really good friends. Friends who I can hang out with, or call at any time when I need a shoulder. That means more to me than any accolades or praise I could have gotten by continuing to keep my mouth shut and go along with the crowd. I didn't do that much in high school, and I'm not going to start now.

Like Sands Through The Hourglass

so are the days of my life. Yeah yeah - tacky, I know. And BAD ME for letting this go so long without an update.

I can say this - my life is anything but dull lately.

Let's see........

Right before I left for Ohio last month, my Grammy fell in her bedroom. She laid on the floor for quite awhile before she pushed the Life Alert - they estimate about 5 hours. She dislocated her shoulder. For the first few days, she seemed foggy, but they had her big-time doped up on painkillers, so we didn't worry. As time went on, it appeared that she likely suffered a small stroke (either as a result of the fall, or leading up to the fall) and is also in the early stages of either Alzheimer's or Dementia.

We noticed that she had been repeating herself and getting slightly confused at times over the last few months, but jeez - if we're all as good as she is when we're 87.... They sent her to Buffalo Valley (a nursing home) from the hospital to rehab her shoulder. I wasn't happy. Buffalo Valley is where my Pappy worked when he was alive, and where he died after his massive stroke. Too many bad memories there. Grammy was not happy. She just wanted to go back home. We didn't have the heart to tell her that it's never going to happen.

After a month of rehab, the staff decided she's well enough physically and mentally for semi-assisted living. They don't trust her in her own duplex or apartment, but she's in her own room (like a studio apartment) in their assisted living center - better than a nursing home. She has independence, but they're also keeping an eye on her. I've been spending a lot of time up there, trying to help her adjust. She still thinks this is a temporary setback, and she'll be going home soon. We're rebuffed any time that we offer to bring something from home - her favorite chair, pictures, etc.

My favorite uncle came up from Oklahoma for a week to check up on her and help make some decisions that she's not capable of making on her own. He was only here for a week, but he'll be back soon to stay for longer. He and I and his wife went to see Grindhouse while he was here, and he loved it as much as we did (this was my 2nd time - first time was when we were in Ohio). It provided a much-needed break from reality.

Things are going well for Ray (Nelson's step-dad). Turns out he's not quite as bad off as we were concerned - he bought himself a nice double-wide in a nice park where my step-sister-in-law lives. It's out of the city, he owns it free and clear, and he is absolutely thrilled about it. He is having a devil of a time sorting out Diane's possessions, though. Man, she hoarded anything and everything, and I am slightly embarrassed to say that we contributed a lot to it. Sometimes it was just easier to toss her a trinket to keep things on an even keel when we went to visit, and we frequently did.

Ray found some more things for us to take home. He found the larger wedding album from George and Diane's wedding. Both sets of photos are not properly stored, so I've now got that task ahead of me. The proofs have already begun to discolor slightly, and I had a devil of a time prying the larger ones out of the album - they had begun to stick fast. He also handed us George's funeral book - the one they put out at the funeral home for people to sign and where they list who sent flowers, who was a pall bearer, etc. This provided us a rare opportunity to see who his dad's friends and concerned family were, and we've begun contacting people. I've spoken to a gentleman that I believe would have been his step-nephew (son of a step-brother). He was one of his pall bearers. He said he didn't remember George all that well, but gave me the number of his sister. She wasn't home, but I left a message. Hopefully she'll call.

Lynn (the man I spoke to) did dispel one thing for me. Diane never wanted to discuss George's family whenever we asked. She'd simply say that his side of the family was always fighting, and that she never had any in-laws because they had died by the time they got married. She was right on that part - George's dad died when he was 5, we found out, and we're not sure when his mother died, but it appears to have been before 1972. He told me that they had tried to keep up with Diane and the boys, but after George died, they just up and disappeared, which is essentially true. Shortly after Diane and Ray began dating, she lost the family home to foreclosure (a lesson learned: always have life insurance - you never know when your time on earth is up) and they packed up and moved to Allentown, leaving a lot of their old life behind, somewhat for the worse than the better. While I can't imagine being a widow at 30 with two boys under the age of 10, and suddenly having to support everyone with your sole income gone (and having no insurance), I feel you still owe it to your children to keep up with their father's family if they want it. It's one thing that has always bothered Nelson. He found out after his mom's passing that people he knew were relatives of some variety were really step-brothers and step-sisters of his dad, and he's lost contact.

Another lesson learned: label your pictures. I'm totally anal-retentive about this, and it drives me nuts that I now have 8-8x10, 12-5x7, and 98-3.5x5 pictures, and we only know a small handful of the people in them - 8 to be exact - and all but two of them are dead. Considering that they had 13 bridesmaids and 13 groomsmen alone, that's not much. In an attempt to identify more people, we've showed the photos around (more on that later) but there's only been a few "I think that's so and so but I'm not sure" responses. I know there's one person out there that could shed some light on it all, but she's estranged from the rest of the family, and I refuse to "bow down" to this person in the interest of finding out who some of the people are.

We ran out to the Pittsburgh area over Memorial Day weekend to re-connect with Nelson's Uncle Ron. I had never met him. He's an "involuntary guest of the Commonwealth" (my late Uncle Dutch's favorite euphemism - he was one too frequently) - ie: incarcerated. I hold no fear in visiting prisons - I'd been in and out of prison visiting rooms for many years because of my aforementioned Uncle. Things are really different now, in terms of rules and whatnot.

Speaking to him was very enlightening. He was able to shed some light on a lot of situations that we were left scratching our heads over. We were hoping he'd be able to ID some people in the photos, but he wasn't any better off than we were. He had a lot of nice things to say about George. He said he was a good man, a hard worker, and very honorable. He also said he was quiet - something Nelson remembers pretty vividly. He talked about how he'd go along with Diane to Philadelphia when Nelson was a baby and needed a slew of operations. Sometimes George couldn't go due to work, and Diane didn't drive in their early days, so Ron would drive. He made it pretty clear that George loved both of the boys, and that made him feel good.

I have to hand it to him - he's got an amazing spirit. If I had been in prison on a horrifyingly unfair sentence for the past 30 years with no prospects in the near future of getting out, I'd be so much more bitter. He's missed graduations of children, births of grandchildren, the funerals of his mother and step-father (although who knows if he'd have bothered - I wouldn't have), the funeral of a nephew, the funerals of two sisters, and countless other things that we take for granted. His wife left him, and as a highly decorated Viet-Nam Veteran who suffered terrible post traumatic stress disorder and was shoved under the rug like so many returning vets (ask my dad), his country left him as well. Lastly, the system has failed him time and again. Remember this: not everyone in prison is a horrible criminal, deserving of nothing more than bread and water. People who have done things thousands of times more terrible have been in and out several times while he sits and waits.

He credits his survival to his second wife, Terri. She's an amazing person in her own right. She married him while he was incarcerated. They've never spent a day together that wasn't behind bars. And for those who ask (and they often do, so I'll spare you from asking the question), no, the Commonwealth Of PA does not allow any type of conjugal visit. They've been married for like 25 years now. She tirelessly pounds the pavement to get his story heard, and has launched a relentless campaign to get his sentence commuted to time served. We wish her well, and we will help in any way we can.

A few final tidbits: Nelson will soon be starting his work with the abused children. He's looking forward to it. My friend that I met up with in Cleveland who was looking to relocate there from California did get the job. He text messaged me last night that he had arrived, and was moving in. He starts his new job on Monday. YAY DANIEL!! I'm thrilled to have a buddy reasonably close that enjoys a lot of the same hobbies that I do. I'm already planning an UrbEx trip for the fall!! I had to let go of another friendship, but it's really for the best. It was becoming increasingly one-sided, and I don't need the emotional baggage.

Never a dull moment!

"I Went Back To Ohio

but my city was gone" - The Pretenders, My City Was Gone

I've been back to Ohio since I left in 1992 a few times. First time was in 2004, when we were looking for a different place to go for our anniversary weekend. We returned to Youngstown, and while we were happy to see that the city is trying very hard to rebound, the upper end of Belmont Ave, usually lively and bustling, has been reduced to a ghost town of boarded up hotels and businesses.

Second time was in 2005. We went out to Dan Marino's induction in to the Pro Football Hall Of Fame. Something I promised Nelson we'd do for as long as I've known him. We went to Canton, then down to below Columbus to spend a few days with a family friend, then back up to Canton for the induction ceremony. After that, we went back to......Youngstown for the evening (we couldn't have stayed in Canton if we wanted to - stuff was booked up a year in advance, but we didn't want to then run all the way home). We stayed on the upper end of Belmont Ave, and it was depressing. The hotel was rundown (despite all the information I found online) and they had lost our reservation, then accused me of making it for the wrong day. She chose to make an issue of it, despite the fact that they were largely empty and getting a room was no problem.

We swung by in 2006. We were on our way to Chicago, and we stopped for gas, and hot dogs at Jay's Famous. We also tried swapping out our horrible rental car, but that's a long and frustrating story. Which brings us to the current trip, which we started on April 13.

Let me slide, for a moment, back to the title of this post. I had been familiar with this song for years, but it never had much meaning for me personally until recently. I'd always heard the phrase "you can't go home again" and never really got it. Youngstown Ohio was my home, for 2 years. I left it, largely due to crime and some changes in structure at my university (Youngstown State - GO PENGUINS!!). They had discontinued my chosen program, so that was the final nudge I needed to pack up and go back home. See? I did go home again, and I haven't left this area (in tems of living here) since. But it's not really that simple, and it took me a while to get that.

I'll let Chrissy give me a hand in this. The song starts:

I went back to Ohio
But my city was gone
There was no train station
There was no downtown
South Howard had disappeared
All my favorite places
My city had been pulled down
Reduced to parking spaces
A, o, way to go Ohio

The first time I really listened to this and "got" it, was after my visit in 2004. I immediately thought of the upper end of Belmont. The Ramada? Boarded up. The Motel 6? Gone. Days Inn? Boarded up. Econo Lodge? Boarded up. K-Mart? Boarded up. Giant Eagle? Moved to Boardman. Pretty much the entire Liberty Plaza? Empty - out of business and boarded up. Starvin' Marvin? Still there, but is now just Speedway.

I remember the times when I went out there before I started college. The times when my parents (and later my husband) would come and visit me. We stayed in every one of those hotels. They were easy access off Route 80, which exits at Belmont. The first stop for my dad was Starvin' Marvin, for gas. Then Giant Eagle, to hit their imported beer aisle. Mom and I frequented the Liberty Plaza and the K-Mart across the street a lot. When I moved out there, I continued shopping there. There were nice stores, and the prices were good. Giant Eagle was always a place to get good snacks and stuff for the dorm. To see it all gone just blew my mind.

Well I went back to Ohio
But my family was gone
I stood on the back porch
There was nobody home
I was stunned and amazed
My childhood memories
Slowly swirled past
Like the wind through the trees
A, o, oh way to go Ohio

On that visit, I swung over to YSU - my old home. I didn't recognize it. While it has changed for the better, it was still a shock. The University has purchased a lot of the blighted surrounding areas and turned them in to new facilities, dorms, and whatnot. I walked around campus, and while some things were the same, some were so different. I don't know why I expected to pass people I knew - they're now long gone, having moved away and started their lives as I did. However, in the back of my mind I still expected to see at least one person I knew. It didn't happen. Life out there moved on without me, and as irrational as it sounds, I was a tad disappointed for a brief time.

I went back to Ohio
But my pretty countryside
Had been paved down the middle
By a government that had no pride
The farms of Ohio
Had been replaced by shopping malls
And muzak filled the air
From Seneca to Cuyahoga falls
Said, a, o, oh way to go Ohio

Which brings us to the trip I just returned from. It's well known amongst mall rats and junkies like myself that Ohio is rife with shopping malls - many now dead or dying. It's one thing that I absolutely loved about it. Many people don't understand my somewhat odd affinity for malls both healthy and dead. I'm not alone, but most of my immediate circle of family and friends just don't get it. I went to the Cleveland area to meet up with a friend (incidentally, a friend who loves malls as I do) who lives in California but is looking to relocate to Cleveland. We decided to take a day to hit up two dead mall gems we were aware of in the area. I may have been to the one at one time, but I couldn't be sure. The other one was one I had spent a lot of time at. It was a huge beautiful mall. Great architecture, great stores, and a fantastic sculpture that hung from the ceiling at center court. When I first met my husband, neither he nor I had much money. We spent a lot of time over there, just hanging out, people watching, and hitting up the penny candy store (how I miss The Candy Tree). The first thing he ever bought me came from that mall - a gold bracelet with my name on the front, and his on the back - and yes, I still have it. What I saw upon arrival just broke my heart.

I'd heard the horror stories about how bad it had gotten, but nothing prepared me for what I saw. The operative phrase for the day was "What happened?". Nelson will accompany me on my mall junkets, ususally just to get out of the house, but even he was saddened to see it. He just kept shaking his head, and looking at my friend and saying "We used to fight for parking spaces here. It was unusual to see an empty storefront, and it ususally filled back up again soon. Some stores had locations on the first and second floors." We did our part in keeping it open another day by buying a few things. In some ways, it would be better to just demolish the place, but the place hasn't been updated since it was built in 1976, and it has some fantastic architecture, and it would be a crime to tear it down (and this is an issue I have with the demolition or extensive remodeling of a lot of malls).

So I get it now. You really can't go home again. Not to the times that you remember, anyway. When I reflect on it, the area here has changed drastically as well in some terms, but stays the same in others. They can take my city and my malls, but at least they can't take my memories. I get it, but I don't have to like it.

There's a great video on Youtube that I have linked to here that shows the sad state of both of the aforementioned malls, and an additional mall that I've not been to (and the person who posted it has some other great videos as well). Coincidentally, they chose "My City Was Gone" to illustrate this. The first mall, Rolling Acres, is one I know about but have never visited. The second one, Randall Park, is the one the just crushed me. The third, Euclid Square, was the other one we visited, which gives new meaning to the term "Dead Mall". There's a Montgomery Ward sandwiched in there - I'm not sure where that one was located, and it doesn't say. Watch, and "enjoy", and ignore the comments left that are a bit rude..........