The Best "Mis"-laid Plans Of Morons And Men

a/k/a If You Say You're Gonna Do It, Then DO IT!!


Something my parents tried to raise me to live by was that if you say you are going to do something, then do it. If you find out at some point that you can't, then be honest and tell someone. It's not fair if you have others relying on you to do something. I try my darnedest to do that. Honestly, sometimes things happen and someone gets left hanging, but that is few and far between. Few things irritate me more than waiting around on someone who never shows up, or similar.

I've always been fairly naive. It's something that I've been working on for most of my life. I'd been stomped on so many times by people who I thought were my friends that I've lost count. I'm fiercely loyal to my friends, so it is possible for a smooth talker to blindside me, and it has happened more often than I care to admit. Despite being fairly good at separating the genuine people from losers, every now and again, one sneaks through, which leaves me to shake my head in the aftermath.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not on a "poor me" kick (another thing that irritates me, but that's for another day). I try to learn from my mistakes. It may take me a while to catch on, but I will eventually. It is a shame, though, that this has happened so many times, because it can cause me to take a more critical look at someone who may be genuine. I'd love to be able to take everyone at face value, but that can work in reverse as well - I've met people that I wouldn't normally think to associate with because of their outward persona or what that is perceived to be by others, but they've turned out to be great people. It's just a tough spot to be in, and I guess that to get suckered occasionally is just part of life's ride.

This happened to me recently. I got suckered in by a smooth talker with big dreams. I blindly believed in this person. They could give me recognition on a national level for things I was helping them do, and that appealed to me. A chance to shove it in the face of people who said I'd never amount to anything. I should have gone with my gut, but I happily followed along. I bragged. I told people that I was going places. I should have kept my mouth shut.

I made a number of friends through this endeavour. Most of us were in the same boat. We believed what we were told my Mr. Smooth Talker. We all gave a lot, but increasingly were getting nothing (and occasionally unwarranted grief) for our efforts. People started to grumble. For the first time, someone told me that I shouldn't pin any hopes on this person because he can't follow through with anything. I ignored them, against my better judgement. I continued to brag. Smooth Talker promised me some major things, and I threw myself in to it lock, stock, and barrel. I ignored all the warning signs. I put myself and my good name out there for this person. I got stomped on. As predicted, they never followed through on anything, eventually abandoning the project without even having the decency to tell me. I found out by noticing it had been removed from a list of outstanding projects.


Even after Mr. Smooth Talker himself got run over by Ms. Smoother Talker (who continues to run him over, despite his being told by several of us that she wasn't what she appeared to be), I continued to just kid myself that it was stress (a favorite excuse of his) and that it would all smooth over. After he began believing lies about the friends I made (and I have proof that they're lies) and he began booting them one by one, I told myself this was just temporary.

Slowly, I began to realize that I was being squeezed out. It was obvious to everyone but me until the bitter end. He didn't have the guts to tell me - he just let Ms. Smooth Talker run roughshod all over everything I did. When I called him on it (and the treatment of some others), he told me he was unaware, but did nothing about it. That, in my opinion, is unacceptable, and was the final straw.

I realized that in my zeal, I tossed out one of my good points - my fierce loyalty to my friends. I remained silent while the gruesome twosome steamrolled over the friends that I made. I also realized these were good friends - as opposed to Dumb and Dumber - who were there when I had to go for surgery, when Nelson was diagnosed with Cancer, and any host of problems that came along. I'd get an occasional note from one of the other two, but a lot of it was "I don't know what to say for stuff like that - I'm not good with these situations". Again, I don't need someone holding my hand every step of the way, but when life hits you with something blind, it's nice to have people to lean on, or at least someone who listens. They don't have to have the answers. And I'm always more than happy to return that favor.

Taking out the trash was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Part of me still clung to the hope that this was a temporary setback, but I was just fooling myself. I wrote the letter. I asked a friend to read it for me. I sent it when I knew the recipient would not be at home.

Immediately after that, I deleted this person from my e-mail address book, and blocked their e-mail, and any e-mail coming from their url's. I removed them from all of my friend lists from any number of websites. I deleted all information from my computer that pertained to anything having to do with them. When the computer asked me if I'd like to take them to the trash can, I chuckled as I sent it there. I have absolutely no regrets for any of it - even the time I wasted chasing someone else's ill-conceived pipe dream. The small handful of friends I've made more than makes up for any bad stuff. It just feels good to get it out when something sucks me back in, like what's going on currently.

This person's grandiose dreams just keep getting bigger, and more ridiculous. Not just content to continue to ruin their name and reputation, they continue to drag the name and rep of others down with them. These new people, unaware that the Smooth Talkers have zero track record or completions under their belts, believe the hype and proudly announce their affiliation with various projects, none of which will likely ever see the light of day.

It doesn't just upset me - it upsets the others that got sucked in before me, only to be spit out. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about it except for vent when it comes up. It would be poor of us to say to these people "You know, I wouldn't hang my hat on anything they tell you, and we speak from experience", because we'd be no better than any of them and their games.

This is one thing, unfortunately, they'll have to learn on their own. And maybe, just maybe, something may someday get done. But even if it did, I want no part of it. The so-called reward is just not worth it.