LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

An Open Letter To All E-Mail Scammers and Spammers:

Just how stupid do you think I am?

All day, I am bombarded with your garbage. The subjects seem to rotate, but it's garbage nonetheless, and I'm fed up.

I'll admit, the first time I got a security alert from ebay several years back, I almost fell for it, but something about the page didn't look right, and ebay confirmed it. Since then, I have been frequently getting them from Citibank, PayPal, Bank Of America, Chase Manhattan - all people I use. I am smart enough to know, however, that they wouldn't send me some generic e-mail demanding I put my personal information out there for the whole world to see.

You also like to bombard me with urgent security notices from Wells Fargo, National City, People's Bank, Fifth/Third Bank, Western Union, and countless other businesses/services that I do NOT use. Again, how stupid do you think I am?? Quit wasting your time on me!

Great! I won the lottery in Austria? Fantastic! I haven't been to Austria since 1989, but hey, they must remember me!! C'mon, I don't play the lottery in my own state ('though maybe I should......). Some deposed dictator (or their family/business associates/lawyer) wants to give me millions? And all I have to do is give you my bank account number? Sign me up!!! Well, no - that might subject me to any number of Federal/International Violations. Your offer of cashing money orders for you and receiving merchandise that I must forward to you sounds much safer......

And by the way, I'll pass on your offer for Viagra or Cialis. Same goes for your offers to enlarge my manhood. I'm female, thank you very much. I don't care to make my friends jealous of my super fantastic jealous of me and my weightloss with your miracle pill. And, just so you know, your offers to look at Russian Child Pornography were promptly reported to the FBI and other associated agencies.

Today I found this notice in my mailboxes at work a number of times: Hello! I am bored, today, interested in chattign iwth ncie rpetty girl? Email me at sp@MailVisionSite.info only Would you mind me showing some nice pictures of me? Again, I'm female, and straight for that matter (no digs to any of my alternative lifestyle friends). Even if I weren't, why would I want to talk to someone that can't even spell simple words?

I resent the fact that you make me waste time wading through your pathetic garbage. This causes me to have to put any number of measures in effect to try and keep you out. You just manage to get around it, and cause my legitimate mail to bounce into Spam. While I do my best to catch it, I frequently miss someones e-mail, causing them to be angry with me. Thanks so much for that.

While I occasionally see notes in the police blotter, despite all the warnings out there, that someone falls prey to your pathetic scams, I think that enough people out there know better than to fall for your garbage, and I would suggest you direct your efforts toward scamming someone else. Or better yet, how'd you like to buy some attractive land in Florida that I have......or perhaps a nice bridge?