I Know Someone

who needs a good swift kick in the rear. In fact, this person is rapidly becoming the poster child for bad behavior, and I find it harder and harder to stand by and watch them destroy everything they have.

It wouldn't be hard for me to put this person down. I'm quite confident that all I would have to do is give them "the look" (arms crossed, head cocked to one side, and and combination of pity and disgust on my face), and spend the next 20 or so minutes telling them not how angry I am, but how disappointed I am in what they've done, and are continuing to do, not only to themselves, but their friends and family as well. I'm also quite confident that after I was done, I could flick my pinkie, and knock them down like a ton of bricks.

So what's stopping me?

Like most people, I have an Inner Bitch. As it's generally unneeded, most of the time it stays hidden away. I don't like to unleash it unless someone is directly threatening or attacking me, my friends, or my family, or is committing some heinous act that demands immediate action. I pride myself on being a decent person, but those who know me well know that I can unleash the fury if I have to. A situation has to get pretty intolerable for me to do that. In some eyes, I can be seen as weak, but I pick my battles. There was a girl I worked with at my previous job that turned cattiness in to an Olympic sport. She took it to the next level, and heaven help you if she didn't like you (and it didn't take much to be added to that list).

On occasion, when her cattiness got too personal, I went to a supervisor, but I largely left her alone......until I left for my current job and had an exit interview. That's when good old IB came out, and rattled off a 7 year long list of offenses. When I was asked why I never mentioned it before, my reply was that I had to work with her every day. What good would it have done to complain about half of it? It would have just made the working environment that much more unbearable. However, now that I no longer have to deal with it, I'd like people to know what she's really all about, and what she's capable of. They took a lot of notes, and did a lot of head shaking, and apologized for years of putting up with it. Problem solved.

Right now, I feel about the same way with this person. Yeah, they need kicked, but I don't think it would serve any purpose just yet. Having walked a few people through programs in my life (including a few that have 12 steps), it's well-known that people have to hit bottom before they are receptive to change. By creating a pseudo-bottom for this person, I don't think I'd be accomplishing anything. They're not there yet, and I don't think what I would say would last much past 15 minutes. This person also suffers from depression at times, and I don't want to throw them in to a bad tailspin that I would be partially responsible for.

It's hard, though, to watch someone you care about sit back and destroy everything they come in contact with. After everyone else has walked away, it's hard to stick around and keep an eye on the situation, so to speak. I understand the motivation to walk away. Heck, some were told to go away. I don't think I've hit that point myself yet, but it may come.

It's pretty bad when my husband tells me he'd rather I not associate with this person anymore. He's very trusting with me in that I have a lot of friends spread out all over, and he's fine with that. It's just that the train wreck that this person's life is becoming is derailing more and more cars, and he's afraid I'll get caught in the momentum and get drug off the tracks too. Yeah, that analogy sucks, but it's all I can come up with. Perhaps it's just better to say that we believe this person has resorted to some scummy tactics, and he'd rather I just have no part of it. I've told him that I'm fully aware of that, and he trusts me to make the correct decision at the correct time.

I'm just watching and waiting for the time being. If the IB and my pinkie finger need to come out, so be it.